Torrent

From Unpredictable Hue, published in 2019.

Torrent

 

I have the telephone to my ear
the kind of conversation where
I talk and talk and talk and you
silent
you pick up no cues you don’t break in
You don’t cut off my sentences to insert your own
it’s not natural for a person not to want to
talk
Who are you that listens like this
not the kind of listen where I feel heard but
the kind where I feel
you laid the telephone down and
went off somewhere else
forgot me without a bit of effort
left me filling that dead air kind of listening

the very idea encouraging more words out of me
a torrent of talking I just can’t stop
please let me know you hear me talking before I
have to use every word in the dictionary
and do it all today and
Come on you have to
say something once in a while

I sit on my chair restless
with that itchy feeling of waiting for a big
slam loud slapdown of some kind
One that will hurt when it comes and stops
my talk and then the idea occurs to me

tired out from fighting its way
through the words I can’t stop spraying out
but even more worth listening to
because it did

It occurs to me
I can just stop talking

8/9/18

2 thoughts on “Torrent

  1. I have a family member who is exhausting to talk to because he only ever gives monosyllabic replies or the occasional grunt to indicate he is even listening. It is so mentally fatiguing talking to him because I have to think of what I am going to say next to fill the dead air while still monologuing and I easily tire of the sound of my own voice. I always think you know if you have a deeper connection to someone if you can sit in silence with them and it not be uncomfortable or create pressure to speak but he is not one of those people. I have to talk or else it just feels very awkward.

  2. Yes, I have a friend like this, but only on the phone, so I have to remind myself of this if I talk to her vs. email. In person, it is not like this. It really is exhausting all right to talk to someone who converses in this manner.

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