Cut Loose

From the poetry collection published in 2015, Look Winter in the Face.

Cut Loose

The moving van arrives at the house
the men jump out of the cab
not caring that
your house is a stranger to you
after today it’s your home no more.
Whatever’s ever happened here
it’s all the same
to the movers. You stand
trying not to get in the way
holding back instructions not to scratch the table or
drop the lamps
They know
and all the while you feel
that piercing lonely slicing
right through your stomach fiercer now.
All your things crammed into the moving truck
while you watch
Kitchen table uncomfortable on top of the sofa
box of books jammed in too tight between and
it’s all just wrong
The movers slam the truck doors shut
you have no choice but to close
the door to the house
gently
lock it
carefully
and turn away

Clay house, @ 2.5" tall, January, 2015.

Clay house, @ 2.5″ tall, January, 2015.

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12 thoughts on “Cut Loose

  1. I like how you capture a moving day feeling. There’s almost a surreal element to a moment like that when our world is dissembled and unceremoniously loaded into a truck.

  2. Argh….I once had to leave a home in which I thought I would live forever. This brought that “leaving” memory back. Nicely done, Claudia.

  3. Thank you. I have not felt this way myself about one of my own homes – I was always eager to move on – but I saw a moving van in the neighborhood one day and thought of how I would feel when I left this house, and for the first time my feelings went down the path laid out in this poem. Life stages.

  4. Thank you. I have always been eager to go to the next place, but leaving this current house, I believe I will feel differently. As I get older, I now see – there is an end to the line and everything – including me – will get disassembled some day. Strangely enough this thought has made me like my home even more. I want to enjoy it and know it, rather than looking past it.

  5. You have captured that feeling so perfectly, Claudia. This was particularly emotive for me because the home we left in Scotland was a home that was built for us and I had designed features like the fireplace so I felt really invested in the fabric of the house as well as all it represented as a home, the memories, the fact it was the only home my kids had ever known. And coupled with that was the fact that the moving truck departed with really not too many of our possessions since we shipped so little to the US so it was like watching the chosen few, the elite of the possessions, leaving us – not to be reunited for a long time as it turned out. It was a little like feeling in limbo and you’ve captured that wavering between past and future really well.

  6. Thank you. I was ready to leave previous homes but this one will be different. And this is how I imagined it. Your experience is something that took a lot of courage, I think.

  7. My husband and I have moved many times and it never bothered me emotionally at all. I think what made the last house we owned in Scotland so different is that it was where we brought each of our children home to when they were born, where all the memories of their firsts were. We were also, of course, taking a bit of a leap of faith crossing an ocean so that probably unsettled me a bit too but it took me by surprise because I had never had any emotional response whatsoever to leaving any home behind.

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